How to Move Forward

You've had a big life change or you want to propel yourself forward; but how? The space around you significantly influences the person you are and the person you will become. So, if you want to move onward and upward, start by looking around you.

Start by going through your decor and decide what no longer reflects the person you want to be. Take it all down and gather it in a pile. Look around for pictures, knick-knacks, books, etc. You can keep everything you don't want to let go of, but you don't have to display it. As for the things you're willing to part with, donate them to a local Goodwill or Salvation Army. Get a box to put your sentimental items in, label it, and store it in a safe place.

Next you'll do this with your clothes, and any wearable items. As you go through your things, ask yourself, “if I walked into a store today, would I still buy this?” We all have things just because we've always had them but that doesn't serve us. Let the item go to a new home to find a new purpose. Keep in mind your goal and start to envision the person you want to be and what kind of wearable items reflect that.

Lastly, take stock of your furniture items. Is there anything you want to replace? Consider taking this time to rearrange your furniture for better flow of your new energy. You can visit Facebook marketplace and post items for sale and find some new pieces that embody the environment you're creating.

The last step requires your utmost focus and attention; you'll now begin to replace your items. As you do this, to slowly and carefully through your home and make a list of specific things you want. Before you go to any store, you must know what you're searching for to avoid coming home with random items that don't belong in your new space. An item must be truly special to be brought into your space. Try to hone in on colors, style, and overall appearance of your new items. Once you've taken time to consider these things you can start filling your space again! Enjoy!

How to Influence Change

Everyone has something they want to change. The ultimate goal is clear, it’s just the steps to initiate the change that seem blurry. There’s no roadmap with the ultimate goal as the destination so how do we draw a map? One direction instruction at a time. Just like every other map. Envision your goal: someone treating you differently, the addition of a new habit, the subtraction of an old habit, a change in lifestyle. Think of it as clearly as possible, how it would make you feel, how you would know it has been accomplished, what other people would say about it, what it would mean to your life. Go into detail and resonate with your goal for a moment. Now, what are you doing that doesn’t fit with that goal? What is the first step that you can take today that aligns with your goal? Lasting change doesn’t happen overnight. It develops slowly over time. You’ll know when you’ve created a lasting change because you won’t have to think about it, it will be thoughtless because it will be your reality. When we make sudden changes that aren’t true to ourselves it feels like a constant nag, like a “have to”, and it doesn’t last. Change is influenced, not enforced.

If your change is to be treated differently then you, not the other person, must behave differently. You cannot change another person, only that person can change themselves. So, begin to examine your interactions more closely. Hold your head higher, be more direct, speak with clarity, see how the world’s response to you changes. Envision the person that is treated how you want to be treated. Emulate that version of yourself and your reward will be a changed response. People who have become accustomed to treating you a certain way may need boundaries established. What you will and won’t accept must be communicated. People can accept this or they can become accustomed to a distance from you, initiated by you. You control your environment maybe not completely in what happens to you but completely in your responses and the direction you emit your energy.

If your change is a habit, for example, to keep the house more tidy, begin with your response to your house. Think of your home and understand the feeling that comes with your home. If you feel overwhelmed, begin to take control of your home one area at a time. Go you your closet and set it up exactly how you would like it to be and the next time you do your laundry, you will be encouraged to put things away how they were before because you chose that. You are responsible for the way your closet looks, you chose how it looks, and you make the decisions for the items that are there. For other people in your home, lead by example and guide them through the same process you went through. If your children throw their clothes on the ground, maybe it’s because they haven’t taken ownership of where their clothes go. If they are holding a shirt, do they know where they want to put it? Some people like to hang things and some people like to fold things. Which does your child prefer? Do they understand categories? These are not lessons we learn all at once, but over time. We develop our sense of what works for us and what does not work for us, what we like and what we don’t like.

Change your mindset by understanding why you choose an action. Why do we choose to leave a plate on the table? We walk away from the table anyways, why don’t we take the plate? We either put the plate in the sink/dishwasher now or later, why don’t we put it there now? Are we waiting for someone else to take the plate? If they haven’t established that habit before, why would they start now? Our expectation for others cannot be cultivated in our own mind without including the other person. If we reach a conclusion on our own and then hold another person responsible, that’s not fair to the other person because they didn’t come to the conclusion with us so they simply don’t understand the expectation we have reached. Once you understand your own actions, then you can begin understanding the actions of other people without blame. Start by establishing an expectation for yourself. Start by understanding why you choose an action without including others. Then, you will begin to understand your home more. If you find the answer is “I don’t take the plate because I just don’t want to deal with it right now”, you have just uncovered the first step in changing how you feel about your home; to reaching the ultimate goal of loving your home.

Psychology of Organizing

Organizing makes us feel good, we know this; but why? I believe that organizing is tied to our neurological process called “pruning”. Pruning is the process by which our brain clips off pathways to retrieving information we don’t use. The more we use information, the faster our mind can access the pathway that it is stored with. The less we use information, the less our mind attempts to maintain the pathway to that information. Think of a nature trail: the more a trail is used, the wider and easier it is to travel. The trail that is used infrequently starts to become overgrown and you have to push your way through the trail. Eventually, the trail becomes completely overgrown and is no longer able to be used. In our mind, each trail ends with information. Our minds are constantly evolving according to the information we use.

I believe that if we do not update our environment to match where our minds are that we actually hold ourselves back, to an outdated version of ourselves. Visually seeing something strengthens a pathway. Subconsciously, everything in our environment is tied to something. If we look at a photo that reminds us of a sad memory, we strengthen that memory and everything that goes along with it. If we switch that photo out for a photo of a happy memory or something aspirational, we are strengthening that pathway in our mind. Set yourself up for success by aligning you environment with the best version of yourself.

Look around your room. Check in with yourself and how you feel while in your room. Now, begin to think of how you would like to feel while in your room. Begin to identify objects that do not align with how you would like to feel. You’ve begun the process of organizing. Organizing allows us to go through our items and actively choose if we would like to keep them, how we would like to display them, or if they do not serve our purpose, we have the power to replace them with something ideal for our needs. This, I believe, is why organizing makes us feel better. Your environment is powerful and so are you. Ensure that your environment fuels your power and does not drain it.

Let Go

The phrase “let go” strikes fear in the heart of many individuals but when reason and process is addressed, it becomes less scary, and eventually, very easy. Now that you have asked yourself who you want to be, the process of letting go is stitched in to the process of cultivating yourself to your ideal self.

Start wherever you want. Find something in your environment that reflects an old version of yourself, someone you don’t currently align with, something that does not hold a positive memory, and put it in a bag. Be active in your environment and actively choose the things you want to keep. We don’t need something passively hanging around for a random reason. We want things that we have chosen and said yes, I want this in my life. Many people have an article of clothing that they haven’t worn-it’s not ugly, it might fit if you put it on, but now you may look at it and realize you haven’t worn it because it doesn’t reflect you. It’s not who you are or who you want to be. Let it go.

As your bag of things from your environment begins to fill, look in it and reflect on any theme you see. What kind of person belongs with these items? Take the bag to a donation center. Come home, and notice is your closet brighter? darker? do you have space on a shelf or in a drawer? Take a moment to appreciate this. Appreciate the change or the space and then you may begin to consider what you would like in that space. Consider what you would like to display, what you would like to see regularly. If you found something that made you light up when you saw it, go back to it and set it on a shelf where you have space or hang it in the front of your closet. Display the things that most reflect who you are, who you are becoming, things that make you happy. Let the items you have chosen cheer you on. Letting go has gifted you this feeling and it is worth so much more than the items you were hanging on to.

Cultivate a Lifestyle

“Does my lifestyle reflect the person I want to be?” Is a question most people do not ask themselves. Most people don’t even ask themselves who they want to be. Living day to day without questioning whether we are aligned with our true selves can be a slippery slope; one day you wake up and realize you are massively unhappy. But this didn’t happen “one day”, this happened one day after another, small pieces at a time, over many years. If you take just one step in the wrong direction each day, at the end of the month you may not notice much, but after a few months or a year, you look around and notice you have walked yourself into a realm you didn’t necessarily ask to be in-it feels like you just fell in, over your head, and now you say “how did I get here?”

So, who do you want to be? Ask yourself what your ideal self looks like. What do you dress like? What do you do with your spare time? What do people say about you? Now, look around you. What in your environment does not reflect that ideal self? Look through your texts-are you engaging with people the way your ideal self would be? Look in the mirror and ask if you have presented yourself as your ideal self would be presented. Do this with every aspect of your life: friends, family, finances, hobbies, education, career, etc. This may be a lot to take in all at once but it doesn’t change all at once; it changes one step at a time, one day at a time. Take initiative on one thing today.

Once you start removing the things around you that don’t reflect the person that you want to be, you can start adding in the things that do reflect who you aspire to become. This will take many adjustments. You may initially envision yourself decked out in flowy Earth tones and becoming more calm and accepting, only to find that this is not your nature and when you wear Earth tones you don’t stand out enough. Simply readjust-finding yourself is a journey, allow yourself to see it through. You are worth discovering the treasure at the end. In a few months, stop and look around you-you’ve created your lifestyle.

Why Organize?

When most people hear about organizing, they aren’t quite sure what it is. It seems unfamiliar to invest extra time into the space around you when time is so limited as it is. Ask yourself: How much time do I spend looking for ___? How often do I get frustrated with clutter? Does my space reflect my interests/goals/values? Enter organizing-it looks different for everyone because everyone has different needs based on the questions above.

Organizing is simply intended to make your life more efficient so you can spend your time on the things that matter. Little frustrations add up throughout the day to cultivate your mood, your demeanor. To have something like counterspace influence the way you interact with the world around you is simply not acceptable. Oftentimes, we exist in our space and expect it only to shelter us leaving a missed opportunity to have our environment help shape our goals and strengthen our identity.

It may seem like a tall order but our brain picks up on cues from the things we frequently see. If you have a shirt that is tied to a bad memory and you see that shirt three times a day you are strengthening your bad memory. Make peace with the memory, honor the shirt for what it is and let it go; Let the memory go and allow yourself the space to move on. If you have a goal to do something social once per week, print a photo of yourself and friends or find a picture you like of people being social. Every time you see that picture in your living room, it will prompt you to seek out something social, text a friend, or make plans. Without you having to make a major change, you have just influenced your life trajectory by simply placing a photo out that reflects the person you want to become. You are in control of your life-it doesn’t have to just happen around you, dragging you in whatever direction it goes in. You can steer the direction of your life.